Premier League Asia Trophy 2013 – Tottenham Hotspur vs South China

Alright, to be honest, I didn’t think I’d be doing this review. I assumed it was a certain thing Tottenham would casually stride past Sunderland to make to the final, presumably against Manchester City. Well, one half of that came correct. Unfortunately, not the half I would have preferred. After conceding a 3-1 loss against the Black Cats, we now find ourselves in a battle for third place. I can’t believe it either. Regardless of the strength of our squad, it should have been more competitive than that. Well, anyway, I couldn’t bare to write anything about that here, but I’ve began a breakdown on Rap Genius, for anyone that is interested.

I was worried, as my Sky Player and Sky Go are down, but I’ve got control of the TV, so this is back on! “The battle to finish third” – fantastic. Let’s get on with it.

• Pre-match: Pitch looking better. Still terrible, but not waterlogged like it was previously. A lot of Spurs fans singing, good to see a community that are true supporters, a lot of Indonesian Spurs.
• Pre-match: Lennon’s beard is swaggy, Tottenham have to coolest team. Hope there’s a big performance from the lads today. Defoe starts over Ade. No Bale or Vert. Still missing some key pieces, but a stronger team than the first match. Should be a win, but won’t take anything away from South China, they did well against City, so as my main girl Ellie Goulding says, anything can happen.
• 2 minutes: Glad to have Lloris back. Great keeper. Got time for Gomes and Friedel, but Lloris is phenomenal.
• 5 minutes: Nothing of note happened so far. A corner that didn’t amount to much. Danny Rose attempted a cross that may well have went in if it was on target. We’re looking strong.
• 7 minutes: Beautiful sliding challenge on Sealy from Parker. South China with a corner.
• 9 minutes: Good play, but didn’t amount to much. Walker is far faster than I thought he was.
• 11 minutes: Goal! Rose with the deflected cross, I believe. Feel for their keeper, but hey, don’t want to come last on this one. 1-0 Spurs.
• 14 minutes: Lennon doesn’t like shooting, does he? Should have more confidence in himself, he could have put one away there. Dembélé falls, giving a foul.
• 16 minutes: Defoe through on goal, but it’s stopped by Joel. Great slide. Corner comes to nothing.
• 18 minutes: HUGO! That’s all. Nothing special or anything, just good to see him. Friedel did very well in the previous game, our defence was either unlucky, or not up to scratch. Seems much better today.
• 19 minutes: Lennon is so fast, that was incredible. Still. nothing of note since that run.
• 21 minutes: Picking up the ball when it’s our free kick. Come of it, D.
• 23 minutes: Walker was unlucky there. Their defender Joel is very talented. Parker got his on the nose. Ouch.
• 24 minutes: Walker’s pace again! Unlucky not to get a goal there. Sorry to keep going on about it, but I didn’t realise how fast he was, that was crazy.
• 26 minutes: Great pass by Parker, unlucky by Dempsey though, would have liked him to score there, but it didn’t happen. Sure there’ll be more opportunities.
• 30 minutes: AVB is hungry for goals. You can see it.
• 31 minutes: If Dempsey scored from there…
• 32 minutes: Fantastic play for Spurs up until it got to the box.
• 33 minutes. Defoe gets chastised for not passing enough, and this shows he probably should more often. Great pass from Defoe, got an assist, Dempsey puts it away. 2-0 Spurs.
• 35 minutes: Didn’t need a time, but the Spurs kit is growing on me. I’ll get back to the game now.
• 37 minutes: D. Martins played well! Nothing on the shot, but did well to get around the defense.
• 39 minutes: South China are flopping everywhere, I’m sure half of these aren’t fouls.
• 43 minutes: Walker with another nice cross, I’m liking what I’m seeing from him. Get out of here with that foul on Dempsey just there, too.
• 44 minutes: Great free kick from Walker, deflects through, easy goal for Defoe. 3-0 Spurs.

Well, that’s half-time. Nothing ore to add really. 3-0 up, looking for more in the next 45 I’d assume. COYS and all that. The older bloke doing the half-time commentary is kind of refreshing, he doesn’t get over excited, he just puts his points across calmly. Working well with two people, as there’s a conversation without constant interruptions. Still, can’t wait for the regular season to come back. Completely right in what they said, more of the same next half. Even if SC get one, they’re not going to come back into this, so let’s just keep doing what we do.

• 46 minutes: A lot of changes for Spurs. Not really surprising, would like to see more goals from it, with some fresh legs on the pitch.
• 51 minutes: I assume nothing has happened. I’ve been away trying to win £100 of JME, but that’s over, so I’m back!
• 53 minutes: Keeper gives it to Defoe, what did you expect would happen? 4-0 Spurs.
• 54 minutes: Dembélé with a powerful shot, blocked. Imagine what the score would be with our entire first team. Still, not really worth thing thinking about, at all.
• 57 minutes: Defoe REALLY wants another goal. Can’t blame him, a hat-trick would be very nice for him.
• 60 minutes: Unfortunate pass from Defoe in the box, but he’ll get more chances, I’d wager. Not being selfish at all here, as he tries another that goes AWOL.
• 64 minutes: SC looking much more eager. Not looking like they’ll come back, but a lot of credit for keeping the effort up non-stop.
• 68 minutes: Three substitutions. With the limit of six, I’d love to see them just make six at once – half the team walks off together. Would be funny. No, it wouldn’t, now I’ve thought about it, there’s nothing humourous about that in the slightest.
• 70 minutes: Close for Defoe!

75 minutes: Here comes the rain!

• 78 minutes: Good play from Carroll, look forward to seeing more of him next season.
• 79 minutes: Defoe grabs his third. Well deserved, easily found their way through. Hopefully there’ll be more to come in the last 10.

• 85 minutes: Another possible own goal on South China’s end there, but it was kept out. Free kick Spurs.
• 86 minutes: Townsend puts the FK away. 6-0 Spurs.
• 88 minutes: A pair of fantastic saves from Lloris.
• 89 minutes: You have to feel for Martins, that was such a good late push.
• 90 minutes: The final whistle blows, this one’s over.

That’s a wrap at 6-0 to Spurs. Defoe shows he’s still got it, you’d assume he’d be man of the match and take the ball on with him. A much better performance than that put in on Wednesday, no complaints. Let’s hope this kind of form carries over to the new season. A lot of respect for South China not giving in, putting in a good effort. Let’s go! I’m breaking the game down further on Rap Genius, if you feel like it, get involved! I’ll see you there!

Bonus picture! Here’s Fryers taking a throw in for some reason!

2013/14 Fantasy Football Team

Alright, at the time of writing, I still haven’t finished my Money In The Bank review. I will at some point, it’s recorded on Sky+, but I’ve been busy, by my standards anyway! Right, in a recent email, I was reminded about the fantasy football service the the Premier League does. Well, I’ve made my team. Yup. How does that relate to Thom’s Reviews. I’ll tell you – it’s currently on Rap Genius where I’m annotating my choices; similarly to the Tottenham Hotspur squad review I did, I’m bringing it, along with the annotations, to Thom’s Reviews. Hope you enjoy this, let me know what you think of my choices. If you have any leagues you want me to join or anything (almost certainly not going to happen), let me know and I may join you! Oh, one last thing, the annotations will be updated as they are on the Rap Genius page. Cool!

_________________________________

4-4-2 formation – starred players are in starting XI.

GK
Hart (Man City)*
Davis (Southampton)

DEF
Vertonghen (Spurs) (Vice captain)*

In my opinion, last season Vertonghen was as crucial to Tottenham’s success as Bale himself. Despite Bale being regarded as the second coming of Pelé (my words, not those of anyone else) due to his phemonemal season (yes, I was exaggerating) he is only one man.

Yes, I hear the cries of “one-man team” and the like, but that’s impossible, you need other players to get top-5 (that still hurts). Vertonghen is one of those men. Rightly regarded as one of the best defenders of the season last season, earning his place on the team of the…season, I don’t see that form dipping this coming…season.

A future Tottenham captain in my opinion, things are looking big for Jan the Man!

Luiz (Chelsea)*

I do not like this man. I was going to say I hate him, but that’s not fair at all, I can’t hate someone I don’t know unless they’ve done something terrible, and I don’t believe he has. Aside from his flopping around, like a football version of Ric Flair. Woooooo!

Nah, my jesting aside, I didn’t like the whole fall-over-and-smile thing. That said, he is a phenomenal football player. He looked impressive in the Confederations Cup, so I’ve got reason to believe that form will carry over to next season. Come on Bob, keep it up.

Baines (Everton)*
Aspillcueta (Chelsea)*
Baker (Aston Villa)

MID
Gareth Bale (Spurs) (Captain)*

Is there any need for an annotation on this one. The best player in the league this past season, a player that, contrary to popular belief on the last day of the season, will not be leaving. Oh yeah, captain too. I want double points on everything this man does.

Snodgrass (Norwich)*
Routeledge (Swansea)*
Ramires (Chelsea)*
Johnson (Norwich)

FW
Benteke (Aston Villa)*
Soldado (Spurs)*
Moore (Swansea)

WWE Money In The Bank 2013

Well, here it is, my favourite PPV of the year has arrived once again. This is going to be similar to the format used on my NBA reviews, the play-by-play kinda thing. Also, although I’m starting it now, live, I’ll probably watch it again and finish it tomorrow/today, as it’s 1am in the UK. Alright, let’s get to it.

SmackDown Money In The Bank match

• SD usually kicks these kinds of things off so you shouldn’t be surprised about this. Some inconsequential promos at the beginning, only thing of note is Wade Barrett may, or may not, have a new theme. Well.
• Wade is a hero, but the repositioning of the ladder for Fandango’s leg drop was pretty obvious haha. I blame the camera man.
• A couple of minutes in and there have been very few big spots. Nothing new either, as of yet.
• As I say that, Wade breaks a ladder rung off and starts clobbering. That was nice. Shame the fighting gimmick has never really been expanded on.
• Cody’s strength impressed me on that…was it a muscle buster? I may be wrong, but whatever, that muscle buster was cool.
• I’ve decided to publish this now, so you can all see it as soon as possible. Aren’t I great. Live updates from now on, refresh for more!
• Nice Bullhammer from Wade on top of the ladder. Even nicer sunset flip by Fandango!
• Ambrose’s finisher is alright, but doesn’t look like a finisher. Still, not being flashy fits his character.
• That ladder aeroplance spin was nice, reminded me of the old SmackDown vs Raw games. Ambrose skinning the cat to get on the ladder was even cooler.
• Some nice new spots. Nothing has blown me away, but has been enjoyable so far.
• Cody could turn face after this one. I don’t know how I hadn’t anticipated the Shield interference but I hadn’t seen it coming. Here come the Usos!
• Sandow takes it! Looks like Cody may be turning face! I had no idea who I thought would win, probably Ambrose, Barrett or Sandow, looking forward to see where he goes from here.

Not a bad match, but nowhere near the best MITB I’ve seen. Looking forward to the second later on. Here’s my man Brad Maddox! Coolest guy in the WWE right now, no doubt. Looks like he’s going to be a bad guy, can’t complain about that, face GMs don’t really work, do they? Holla holla holla playa. I look down for a second and there’s an incredible video package for Vickie. This is great. Alright, here’s Miz, out of nowhere. Don’t know what happened to Brad, but whatever. Looks like it’s time for…

Intercontinental Championship match: Curtis Axel (c) vs The Miz

• Miz’s (Miz’?) jacket looks like something out of Zelda
• Yeah, this hasn’t gone as well as I had hoped. I’ll finish this after I sleep, I’ll watch it again in the morning. Don’t hate me for leaving you hanging like this, I promise I’ll finish it. Speak to you (at you) soon.
• Alright, I’m back! 1:35 the day after, still haven’t watched it. I’ve added a poll though, that could be fun. Okay then.
• One cool spot, at the end, when Axel kicked the rope into Miz’s face. That was nice.
• I ragged on Ambrose’s finisher, but Axel’s looks the same, only worse. Why is that his finisher over the Perfectplex? That’s not rhetorical.
• So this match was just like a modern day Ric Flair vs Curt Hennig. Or not. No surprises Joe Perfect Jr. Axel McGillicutty Genesis picked up the win.

That Divas programme will probably be terrible, but if it’s here in the UK, I will give it a chance. You know why.

Diva’s Championship match: AJ Lee (c) [with Big E. Langston] vs Kaitlyn (with Layla)

• This match was alright. It got a bit longer than the average TV match, which I guess is to be expected on a PPV. I dunno, this is the first one I’ve seen for a while.
• Kaitlyn has improved leaps and bounds since that season of NXT (2, I believe?) She’s one of the best in the WWE now, I’d say, for entertainment value.
• AJ’s finisher is beautiful. Black Widow seems like a bit of an unnecessary name, wasn’t that Victoria’s finisher? Is it that hard to come up with a new name? Whatever, it looks awesome, not many people have got a move that nice in their arsenal, big her up for that one.
• Unrelated, but I have to cap this off some how – I believe it was two years ago, I went to see NXT when I was in Florida, and AJ was there, looking hot as ever. Wish I had got a photo with her, or even spoke to her or something. Upsetting now, but nothing I can do it about it.
• Well, I’m going to have to end it here, this was all I watched in the end last night. Next up is the Jericho/Ryback match, I’ll speak to you again after I’ve watched that!

Marvel: Avengers Alliance

Right, this is a Facebook game. I apologise in advance. Normally, I’m pretty much against Facebook games, other than Tetris Battles (I believe it’s called that, anyway) and a select few others. I’m pretty much against Facebook on the whole. This game is pretty much what is keeping my Facebook account open.

If you’ve read my previous review on Punisher: War Zone, you’ll know that I briefly revealed my love for Marvel there. It’s particularly centred around the Avengers end of things, much more so than Spider-Man, X-Men, Daredevil (I could be here a while), which is what initially attracted me to the game around its inception. However, it’s still open however many months later now, and it continues to grow all the time. This is very bad for my social life, as I’m hopelessly addicted to it, but I’m slowly weaning myself off it, just give me time.

Right, classic Thom’s Reviews here, two paragraphs and I’ve said nothing. The game itself is pretty cool for a freemium Facebook game, it’s a turn based RPG, with upgrade elements and PvE and PvP combat. There are limited time operations, little money-making side missions, all sorts. Yeah, so far, so similar to everything else, but this has Marvel characters. This isn’t select a type of orc or elf or something (I have no idea), but your team can consist of one of…lots of characters. Theres Iron Man and Wolverine for the more casual fan, but if you look a bit deeper than that, you can get Fantomex. Fantomex? I have literally no idea who that is, but there we go.

The character selection is a huge draw to be honest. More are being added at least monthly – there are 64 at the time of writing, split into six different classes, which employ a Pokémon-like weaknesses and strengths…well, not triangle. A weaknesses and strengths hexagon. Sort of, Generalists have no weaknesses nor strengths. This is going nowhere. For a list of the heroes in the game, check out this page on the M:AA Wikia. You’re welcome, or something. There are all kinds of alternative costumes and the like too. Some of these are limited time – such as new Iron Man armour and the Iron Patriot suit for War Machine around the release of Iron Man 3. Even more annoyingly, if you miss them, are the limited time heroes – at the same time, Rescue was released. If you play enough (or pay enough) you can get them, but it can be annoying to see [EXPIRED] on the recruit menu. Still, serves me right for taking a break from the game!

Yeah, so you pick your heroes and head off to battle. As an example, I’m playing the game right now. I’ve got the random team of my hero, Kitty Pryde and Quicksilver taking on the Blob, the Hood and some lower-level minions. There is a storyline binding the chapters together, and this is set to be expanded with the upcoming season two, but to be honest, I don’t really care about the story, I just want to destroy villains. For Marvel fans though, the story is cool, bringing together characters that the films won’t allow, so it’s as close to the comic book experience as you’re likely to get. Away from comic books that is.

I know I just said my main attraction is the battles, but that is a complete lie. I just lie recruiting new heroes. That said, I’m not going to spend money on a free to play game, so it’s a slog through the game to get the command points necessary. However, it’s worth it when you’ve worked to add a new character to the select screen. Of course, the shortcut is there, but yeah, I won’t pay for something which could have its servers cut tomorrow.

I don’t really care about graphics to be honest, but should probably mention that this looks quite nice. There you go. I would like to be able to skip the battle animations, but hey, you can’t win them all.

Yeah, I don’t know what else to say about it. I can’t comment on the sounds, as I always have it on mute. What else do people look for in a review? 29 deep and I still can’t answer that, I’m in trouble. I love this game for what it is. I wouldn’t recommend it though, as the life-sucking ability it possesses makes it Farmville for the comic book nerd. Farmville? Is that still popular? That was a half-truth, if you don’t want to get sucked in, don’t start this game. It can take over. However, if you have more restraint than I, then go for it. It’s one of the few Facebook games I can wholeheartedly recommend. There’s a huge community of players on the internet, they can’t all be wrong. Can they? With the second season fast approaching, there may not be a better time to jump on board this Juggernaut!

That was terrible. I can’t end it on a joke that bad. This is the end…now. Hey look, a poll! Crazy! Italics! Go vote! Thanks!

Punisher: War Zone

In the immortal words of Dr. Dre: “Never let me slip, ’cause if I slip, then I’m slipping”. While I may not be tripping with my non-existent Nina, I do feel that bar applies to me, because I haven’t had a new post in a while. I’ve been busy, catching up on Dexter in time for the new series, trying to get rid of some clothes and the like, and generally living life, I guess. I had no idea that this would be what would get me to start writing again though. Here it is.

As I previously mentioned, I just got around to watching season seven of Dexter. A superb season, as per usual, and one of the highlights was Ray Stevenson’s portrayal of Isaak Sirko. He comes off as effortlessly badass, and when I looked up his filmography and saw him as Frank Castle, I knew I had to grab it. Add to it Dominic “McNutty” West, and you’ve got a winning combination.

Out of all of the Marvel characters, the Punisher is one I’ve never really taken much interest in, I’d never watched any of the previous films, my only real interactions with him is in the PS2 game, which was awesome, of course, and Marvel: Avengers Alliance. Despite my lacking knowledge, I knew enough that this wouldn’t be the deepest of films – that said, this did blast past my expectations.

This is primarily due to Stevenson’s ability to convey emotion. When he’s supposed to be upset, you believe it. I learnt that from Sirko, and this has built upon that ability even further. Of course it’s mainly about the excessive violence, falling under the Marvel Knights banner, but there was more of a storyline that I had expected. I dunno, with this kind of film, I expected something akin to Machete, with non-stop violence, and, in honesty, probably would have preferred that. But it’s a moot point, Stevenson and his supporting cast, including the lovely Julie Benz, made the downtime enjoyable.

What’s a hero without an antagonist eh? Luckily, West came through as Jigsaw; the rest of his crew weren’t to the same standard, but he worked well. I had wondered how I could come to dislike the man who took part in one of the best television shows of all time, but he pulled it off, if only for an hour and a half. I would have thought he was too likable, but he showed his versatility here. Also, that accent was hilarious, bonus points for that. The transition from Billy the Beaut to this disfigured monster was good too, providing some of the highlights of the film.

Some of the violence was of course over the top – this was to be expected, but it kind of gave off a Hobo with a Shotgun vibe at parts. I’m not sure if that’s positive or negative to be honest. Oh, and the opening sequence reminded my greatly of little-known Christmas film Santa’s Slay. You have to watch this.

Although I said the film was more storyline-oriented than I had expected, that’s not to say it’s a deep tale or anything like that; it’s just coherent enough to keep it all together, and I suppose I should have expected that of a reboot. I would like to see a sequel, but after destroying every villain – and the five-odd years since the release – I guess that’s not going to happen. While it wasn’t an Oscar grabber (obviously), if you’ve got a couple of hours to kill, you could do much worse than this one. Give it a watch, despite the negative reviews, you may like it.