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Hello there friend/acquaintance/stranger/person who has accidentally clicked on my review website rather than the surrounding links that have slightly more explicit content (delete as applicable)! I bet you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, eh? Let me enlighten you – I’ve been right here! That said, I’ve been busy. Uni is picking up as third year rattles on, so I’ve had less time to write on here. Strangely however, I have had time to pick up a new addiction, in the form of Cookie Clicker. Well, I haven’t become addicted, but it sounds more dramatic, doesn’t it? Well, it doesn’t, but whatever, I didn’t have a better segue. Let’s get into it.

Cookie Clicker. Cookie Clicker. What are you expecting? I would put a poll here, but I really doubt that I could make it funny. This is Cookie Clicker.

Mmmmmmm...version 1.0383...

Mmmmmmm…version 1.0383…

It’s absolutely ridiculous, that is a third of the screen. It’s a cookie. You click on it. This is going to be a short one.

Clicking on the cookie, for some reason, gives you a cookie. These cookies are then used to buy upgrades which increase your cookie flow, starting simple with an autoclicker and grandmas who bake for you; culminating in antimatter condensers which will bring in a substantial flow of chocolatey goodness. There are also achievements, which will unlock milk, which also boosts your CPS (cookies per second). You can reset your game, which retains your achievements, and may add heavenly cookies, which also raise your CPS. There are upgrades, which may simply boost the production power of your factories, or may cause the grandmas to become part of a demonic cult which requires frequent tributes to keep pleased. These, of course, come in the form of cookies. For something I expected to spend five minutes on, it is surprisingly fleshed out. I tend not to actually click, and just let the game do it’s work – I’ve pretty much given up as of late, but at last check, I had 90% of the achievements and was on a lifetime total of 914,646,286,590,173 and counting (note: that image above came shortly prior to me importing my save). I don’t know why I told you that – I guess I just had to get a humble-brag in there somewhere. I’m sure there are people in the…I dunno…googols of cookies out there, but as I don’t know you, I’ll pretend I’m the best in the world.

Right, that densely packed paragraph over, I’ll conclude this bite-sized chunk of Maryland-esque goodness. Umm, that being this review. I may not have covered everything, but I want an early night. Apologies. Yeah, so, if you have a compulsive personality, this may not be for you. Wait, that sounds too negative; let me say – I’m not sure if I’ve given a positive impression of the game over the course of this – I want to be clear of any of these “idling” games, this is by far the best I’ve played. Owing to its simplicity and constant stream of rewards, this has the potential to outdo the Candy Crush Sagas and FarmVilles (is it 2008 again?) of the world in terms of addictivity, which is a frightening prospect. Still, for a little time waster, it’s definitely worth a bash! With constant updates in a new beta version of the game – one that I refuse to start – there’s likely always something new to do. I wouldn’t know. That said, check it out and let me know how it goes. I’m just sorry if you lose your job due to it.

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Alright, I’m not really sure what else to do at the moment, so it’s another Windows 8 game for Xbox, or whatever they’re going by these days. Please don’t hate me. This is really interesting, it’s about…crosswords. This won’t take long.

Here's one I did earlier.

Here’s one I did earlier.

So, it’s about crosswords. I know I just said that, but I really don’t know what else to say. You get power ups and other aids to help you out, as the questions, for the most part, seem overly cryptic. They’re easy once you start to understand how it words things, but to begin with, it’s pretty daunting. Add to the fact that it doesn’t tell if you if the answers are split into different words, there’s more of an entry barrier than you’d expect. As I said, there’s powerups though, as well as a built in Bing search for answers on the easiest mode, but that’s pretty pathetic in truth, if you really want it to just give you the answer, then why are you playing? Yeah, there’s different difficulties which strip the help away, but you either have to pay real money or save your tokens to get these. Still, if you want more of a challenge, you may well do it.

Here's one I'm doing now.

Here’s one I’m doing now.

The cool new aspect about the game is the fact that you can team up with others to work together to complete the crosswords, getting the best score possible with your friends. You can join public games if you like, you don’t need a team to get some help, but there are achievements locked to working with a team. Oh yeah, the achievements. They’re easy for the most part, I guess, just some annoying ones. Nothing thrilling though; if you’re a completion working on it, you’ll have most of them in no time, aside from the “do 10 daily crosswords” one.

Here's on I gave up with.

Here’s one I gave up with.

When I first downloaded it, I had a fair few server problems and couldn’t connect at all. That seems to have subsided now, but I’ve barely written anything and I needed to throw something in before my conclusion. Yeah, so there you go. It’s free, so there’s no reason not to check it out really (provided you’re on Windows 8 of course). I’d recommend it, I guess. I’m just not that enthusiastic about it. If you’ve played it, let me know what you think. If you have a team, let me know. I’d play it every now and then, and I’m pretty lonely. Until then.

Alright, I’ve really been neglecting this. I need to do something. Something that will appeal to my target audience…hmm. How about a random Windows 8 game? Sure, that’ll do.

Honestly, I wanted to do something more interesting, but I haven’t really done anything that could make for an interesting read. I’m not even sure this will. There’s a new season on Marvel: Avengers Alliance, and there has been another football match in the past 24 hours, but I don’t like sticking to one topic too long. Guess this will have to do.

So. Asphalt 7 Heat. 7? There have been 7 games in this series? I have an Asphalt game on my phone, Asphalt 5, I believe. I don’t think it’s a long-running series though, and I don’t think it warrants multiple sequels. It doesn’t have a huge overarching storyline like your Mass Effects, to be honest, it doesn’t even have huge graphical upgrades like Forza. It’s just another racing game. Still, as long as it does that right, it’s good…right?

Thankfully, there’s very little wrong with this. It’s a really well put together game. I believe this is on Windows phones as well as Windows 8 devices (probably iOS and Android too, but y’know, I’m not Señor OS) and it shows, as least in that it was definitely made with touchscreen devices in mind. Playing it on the new laptop, it didn’t work to begin with. I couldn’t drive. I had to go to the options and change it from touchscreen controls. Whatever, it’s sorted now.

Here I am. In first. Of course. I should probably add, this game isn't particularly hard for the most part.

Here I am. In first. Of course. I should probably add, this game isn’t particularly hard for the most part.

The controls are tight. There are a fair few control methods to suit different purposes, but I’m happy with space and the directional arrows. It’s a simple affair – go forward, left or right, and boost or drift every now and then. As such, it can get repetitive, you’re unlikely to sit down for hours playing this. Still a game every now and then is cool.

I won that race, if you were wondering. You weren't? Carry on.

I won that race, if you were wondering. You weren’t? Carry on.

There’s a lot of cars too. Many more than I had expected. All licensed too, very nice touch. No damage, probably due to the licensing, I’d guess, but it’s not all that important in such an arcadey game. There is a cool Burnout-esque takedown system which makes up for it.

The graphics, despite what I said earlier are nice for a game that’s in the £1 range. I can’t remember how much it was, but for the price it cost, it’s definitely worth getting for anyone that has access to a system it’s on. Give it a go, when I have ever steered you wrong before.

Don’t answer that.

Not sure what I’ve missed to be honest. There’s online and local multiplayer across a variety of modes. There are different races – straight up, time attack, elimination, takedown, there’s no lack of variation in the types of games you can have. There’s a career type mode which is the meat of the game – lots of races to sink your teeth into.

Well, that was shorter than I had expected. I’m finishing this a day after I started, and I’ve probably forgot to include so much. If I’m missing something, let me know. Thanks in advance.

Right, this is a Facebook game. I apologise in advance. Normally, I’m pretty much against Facebook games, other than Tetris Battles (I believe it’s called that, anyway) and a select few others. I’m pretty much against Facebook on the whole. This game is pretty much what is keeping my Facebook account open.

If you’ve read my previous review on Punisher: War Zone, you’ll know that I briefly revealed my love for Marvel there. It’s particularly centred around the Avengers end of things, much more so than Spider-Man, X-Men, Daredevil (I could be here a while), which is what initially attracted me to the game around its inception. However, it’s still open however many months later now, and it continues to grow all the time. This is very bad for my social life, as I’m hopelessly addicted to it, but I’m slowly weaning myself off it, just give me time.

Right, classic Thom’s Reviews here, two paragraphs and I’ve said nothing. The game itself is pretty cool for a freemium Facebook game, it’s a turn based RPG, with upgrade elements and PvE and PvP combat. There are limited time operations, little money-making side missions, all sorts. Yeah, so far, so similar to everything else, but this has Marvel characters. This isn’t select a type of orc or elf or something (I have no idea), but your team can consist of one of…lots of characters. Theres Iron Man and Wolverine for the more casual fan, but if you look a bit deeper than that, you can get Fantomex. Fantomex? I have literally no idea who that is, but there we go.

The character selection is a huge draw to be honest. More are being added at least monthly – there are 64 at the time of writing, split into six different classes, which employ a Pokémon-like weaknesses and strengths…well, not triangle. A weaknesses and strengths hexagon. Sort of, Generalists have no weaknesses nor strengths. This is going nowhere. For a list of the heroes in the game, check out this page on the M:AA Wikia. You’re welcome, or something. There are all kinds of alternative costumes and the like too. Some of these are limited time – such as new Iron Man armour and the Iron Patriot suit for War Machine around the release of Iron Man 3. Even more annoyingly, if you miss them, are the limited time heroes – at the same time, Rescue was released. If you play enough (or pay enough) you can get them, but it can be annoying to see [EXPIRED] on the recruit menu. Still, serves me right for taking a break from the game!

Yeah, so you pick your heroes and head off to battle. As an example, I’m playing the game right now. I’ve got the random team of my hero, Kitty Pryde and Quicksilver taking on the Blob, the Hood and some lower-level minions. There is a storyline binding the chapters together, and this is set to be expanded with the upcoming season two, but to be honest, I don’t really care about the story, I just want to destroy villains. For Marvel fans though, the story is cool, bringing together characters that the films won’t allow, so it’s as close to the comic book experience as you’re likely to get. Away from comic books that is.

I know I just said my main attraction is the battles, but that is a complete lie. I just lie recruiting new heroes. That said, I’m not going to spend money on a free to play game, so it’s a slog through the game to get the command points necessary. However, it’s worth it when you’ve worked to add a new character to the select screen. Of course, the shortcut is there, but yeah, I won’t pay for something which could have its servers cut tomorrow.

I don’t really care about graphics to be honest, but should probably mention that this looks quite nice. There you go. I would like to be able to skip the battle animations, but hey, you can’t win them all.

Yeah, I don’t know what else to say about it. I can’t comment on the sounds, as I always have it on mute. What else do people look for in a review? 29 deep and I still can’t answer that, I’m in trouble. I love this game for what it is. I wouldn’t recommend it though, as the life-sucking ability it possesses makes it Farmville for the comic book nerd. Farmville? Is that still popular? That was a half-truth, if you don’t want to get sucked in, don’t start this game. It can take over. However, if you have more restraint than I, then go for it. It’s one of the few Facebook games I can wholeheartedly recommend. There’s a huge community of players on the internet, they can’t all be wrong. Can they? With the second season fast approaching, there may not be a better time to jump on board this Juggernaut!

That was terrible. I can’t end it on a joke that bad. This is the end…now. Hey look, a poll! Crazy! Italics! Go vote! Thanks!

Maaaaan, that closing line! Give this review, from the 16th of May 2011, some love, I was young and my writing career was just beginning! Hope you enjoy it though. Oh yeah, and the introduction has reminded me I actually had blogs before the 2011 Blogger! May need to find these!

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A little about myself first, my name is Thom and I wanted to start another blog after my ones from 2007, 2008 and 2009 sort of fell apart after me forgetting about them. I also wanted to do something I hadn’t before and I thought reviewing would be a good idea. After thinking of this, I needed inspiration to start, what could be easier than one of my more recent LoveFilm rentals. I’ll tell you what could be easier…nothing. Before I start, I should probably keep you up to date with WWE’s name. It’s not wrestling. At all. It’s WWE. Not WWF, not World Wrestling entertainment, not World Wrestling Federation, it is just WWE. That said, this is a wrestling game in its entirety.

Failed attempt at humour out of the way, I’ll get on with it. Another note, any game I talk about is going to be played on the Xbox 360. Ahh, I’ve got to stop getting off track with this! WWE All Stars came out on April 1st 2011 in the UK.  This release could be seen as something of an April Fools’ Day joke as it just doesn’t have enough depth to be a full price retail game, does it? It’s not a bad game at all, it’s good if you’re looking for something to spend quarter of an hour or so on with your mates, but beyond that, it doesn’t hold up to the regular SvR yearly series. Of course the main attraction of the game is the WWE Legends vs WWE Superstars concept. Shockingly there are some major inclusions that fans begged for, but didn’t expect to happen. Randy Savage and Ultimate Warrior are both thought to have some sort of bad blood with the WWE according to members of the IWC (internet wrestling community) but maybe this will start to dispel the rumours, at least with regard to Macho Man with his recent action figure too. Oooooh yeahhh!

Graphically, this game is a lot of fun. Bright colours everywhere, exaggerated characters with even greater exaggeration on their moves, it makes great advert sure, but this is probably the best part of the game.

[Note: A John Cena image from the game was here. I wish I could have kept it in, I liked the caption below. Never mind, the caption is still there, so it’s all good!]

I’m on the internet aren’t I? I suppose this is where I’m supposed to say Cena only has five moves and can’t wrestle right? Wrong. Cena is the best wrestler in the world today! Aside from Michael Tarver of course. He’s just awesome.

Gameplay is simple, in a sort of arcade style. Unfortunately, what this translates to is that it is a button bashing experience for the most part, jostling to be on top of your opponent (literally as well as figuratively) with reversals seeming to be a random occurrence when you happen to hit the RB at the time the game determines correct. There’s the selection of exhibition matches you can play, which are limited to a select few like cage, tornado tag, handicap, extreme rules and singles off the top of my head. There are a few ladder style modes to play through, but truth be told, I was bored after the first one. Online play can be fun, but more often than not, it is just a complete lag fest, one of the most frustrating things I’ve ever played. They did include one good feature-you cannot pause and rage quit if you’re losing, but that doesn’t stop people-as I was about to pick up my first win, I was doing my finisher, about to get the knockout and they either returned to the dashboard or turned it off. I went bananas for a minute.

I think I’ve covered most things here. It’s not a bad game, I think I’m being quite harsh but then, I didn’t exactly have a great time, I only kept it for about a week or so, take that how you will. I’m going to do my final scores in a matter similar to the fantastic website xbox360achievements.org as I feel they give you pretty much all you need to know on a game.

Audio: Nothing special really, good to have all the entrance themes, some good voice acting and it is great to hear JR on commentary, but nothing really sticks out in my mind as memorable. 70/100

Visuals: Probably the best aspect of the game, everything is colourful and fun, but I was not really a fan of the exaggerated looks of the wrestlers, truth be told I found it a little creepy haha. 80/100

Playability: Just not where it should have been. Fun at times, don’t get me wrong, but you can often miss by a fraction when trying to grapple for example and it’s so frustrating. 55/100

Delivery: Like visuals, the package as a whole is impressive, although there is a small roster with some questionable choices for an “internet smark” such as myself to use, it is what most fans would love to play. I’m not complaining much about that. 80/100

Achievements: They’re okay. I liked some of them, things like teaming up as Rowdy Roddy Piper and Drew McIntyre are inventive. Beating everyone with HHH? Less so, just grinding. Still, more inventive than a lot of games out at the moment. 60/100

Overall: It’s not that bad truly. The key word for me was frustration. It could have been so much more than it was, but it wasn’t as much of a let down as it may have come across in the review, I think I was a little hard on it. Overall, I would give this game 69/100!

Well, now the first one is out of the way, if anyone actually read this, feel free to comment telling me how to improve these and if you liked it or not. If there is any sort of reaction, I’ll try to keep going. We’ll have to wait and see eh? That’s the bottom line, ’cause t-ro said so!

Here’s another one. This is one of my favourite games of all time, and it warrants the 91 rating I gave it. Ahh, apologies, I shouldn’t have brought that up. Still, I’ll reiterate my dislike of having ratings at the end; again, after these old ones are reuploaded, there won’t be any more ratings, just my opinion given. This one was originally uploaded on the first of June, 2011 on my Blogger. Hope you enjoy it! I was going to end it with a Clap Trap quote or something, but “check me out, I’m dancing” doesn’t really fit with my review. Go ahead.

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I’m not going to lie about it, I’ve played a hell of a lot of first person shooter (FPS) games. It’s been a lot more on the Xbox 360 than on previous consoles, however, it seems like a new one comes out every day, so in this oversaturated market, it’s inevitable that you’ll come across a fair few. There are some good (the Halo and, dare I say it, Call of Duty series are both great) and the not so great (I rented Homefront from LoveFilm…didn’t exactly get along with it. An achievement for jumping off the Golden Gate bridge? Really?) but most of these have something in common. An incredibly linear campaign mode which is soon forgotten about when you discover multi-player. My favourite thing about Borderlands is there are no restrictions at all. Believe it, this feels so good.

[Note: Well, the caption shows what the picture contained. I’m just disgusted with myself for making “winning” a sentence on its own. This must have been around the time of Charlie-Sheen-A-Mania or something. Apologies.]

The four characters you can choose from are shown here. Mordecai, Lilith, Brick and Roland. You’d be mad to choose anyone other than Roland wouldn’t you? He’s a don with an awesome set of goggles. Plus a proficiency with shotguns? Winning.

Alright, so this game at first glance doesn’t appear to be much special. A shooting game where you hoard loot? Loot hoarders such as Diablo work because the loot can make a huge difference to your gameplay. How much can a slightly different gun do. Well, a lot it turns out. One of the main selling points was that there are millions of guns (Gearbox claimed 17,750,000 at the games release) that are randomly generated and dropped by enemies. When you find your first orange weapon, you’re going to be very happy, I’ll tell you that much! The idea of these different weapons sold me on the game, I even pre-ordered it if I remember correctly (it came out in October 2009, cut me some slack here!) Since this time, there have been four DLC packs which have all added something to the game, mostly great, but one I’m not such a fan of, which I’ll get to later.

First, I’ll have a look at the audio. Not really an important factor in the game to be honest. The background audio is forgettable as far as I can remember, nice to listen to when you’re playing but not something that I’ve added to my iTunes. However, the voice acting is just awesome! I have genuinely laughed a lot listening to some of the characters, Dr. Ned is always one to look out for! Honestly, this game is very funny, it doesn’t take itself seriously and it just works.

Alright, next I’ll talk about the visuals. It’s nice! It’s not for everyone but I’m not really fussed about über realistic graphics, I prefer something with a bit of style (I loved Okami for example) and this definitely offers something different. It’s not perfect, but it’s got very polished character models and it has a lot of detail for the cel shaded graphics of the game.

However, this isn’t anywhere near as good as the gameplay of the game. It’s absolutely lovely. Every gun handles differently, you can feel a great difference between pretty much every weapon you use. Also, the game isn’t repetitive. It’s not shoot, shoot, shoot, run to cover for ten seconds, pop out, shoot, shoot. There are driving sections, run and gun, sniping, but you can do it however you want. The RPG elements add so much to the game. Find a mission too difficult? Have a look around, shoot something, level up and go back to try again. Do the missions in any order you feel like, it’s not a problem. Hell, go grab some loot and take on some friends online! Yes, that’s right, this first person shooter also has a Halo-esque four-person co-op option! That’s far too many hyphens but I don’t care! This is the game that keeps on giving. Originally you could level up to 50, I only managed this when I went back to the game a couple of days ago. With all of the DLC, you can now get up to 69!

Ahh yes, the DLC. I might as well bundle this in with the review. The four add-ons are: The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned; Mad Moxxi’s Underdome Riot; The Secret Armory of General Knoxx and Claptrap’s New Robot Revolution. Firstly, the bad. Mad Moxxi’s Underdome Riot. It’s not bad at all, if you have some friends. That’s a qualifier that has to be mentioned. It’s almost like a Gears Horde mode, but if you’re alone you’re going to struggle and probably not have much fun. As I don’t have any friends (that have the game…I’m not that much of a loser) I haven’t got any of the achievements from this piece of DLC. That said, I enjoyed the other ones much more. The Secret Armory is very good. Zombie Island is absolutely fantastic. Robot Revolution is near perfect. The DLC adds so much to the game, if you haven’t got it, definitely go for the Game of the Year edition when you buy this game. You won’t regret it. There is a story but it’s not really major, looking for the lost loot of Pandora, in all honesty I can’t really remember that much of the story; Wikipedia is your best bet for that. I suppose I should slap on some numbers now!

Audio: Again, I touched on this. Since I wrote the last bit I’ve played it more, the music isn’t bad at all, but the dialogue is top-notch! Great choices for the voices. 80/100

Visuals: I love it. Others won’t. Of course it’s all subjective, but I like to have a bit of variation, something of a rarity in shooters these days. Very nice looking. 85/100

Playability: There are endless adjectives I can use to describe this game! Fun, very fun, a lot of fun, tremendously fun, incredibly fun-the list goes on! In all seriousness, it’s difficult to get bored with this game. It’s fast paced enough that you don’t get bored, but it’s not a really short game you will blast through. It’s just fun. Especially if you’ve got some friends to enjoy it with! 95/100

Delivery: Again, great. There are very few issues in the game, I’ve had a few glitches but I can usually sort them out (although cars getting stuck took five points off here. I hate that.) Still, a very well crafted product, Gearbox deserve a lot of respect for this game. 95/100

Achievements: Probably my favourite part, with references to everything from Max Max and Slumdog Millionaire, to Back to the Future and Lonely Island. Yes, there is an achievement called ‘You’re on a Boat’, with a description of ‘I bet you never thought you’d be here.’ Genius. 100/100

Overall: Honestly, playing this game again has made me realise how good it is. I’m so glad I never sold it, because it’s honestly near perfect. At the time of this review, I currently have 65 of 80 achievements. I want them all. It’s just so…consuming! 91/100!

Well there you go guys. Honestly, not owning this game is doing an injustice to yourself. Hell, this is one of the top games of the generation, definitely. Go and get it now! Claptrap says so.

Here’s one I really enjoyed writing way back then. Especially because I got to brag that I was actually quite good at it. This game enjoyed a resurrection this past year, playing it at uni. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the community, as the only servers were closed, and the producers got in some hot water for using music and videos they didn’t have rights to. Nightmare for them. Still, I enjoyed it. I’d love a sequel, or a rap version of Lips. I’d be happy with that. This was originally from the Blogger once again, first published on the 19th of May, 2011. Not my best work, but me showing off my scores was a plus for me. I promise I’m not like this in real life. Honest.

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Def Jam Rapstar. It never really should have worked should it? I don’t think that any singing/karaoke should be good at all. But for me, this just felt right. I should preface by saying that my brother had Get On Da Mic for PS2, which I similarly liked (although it was met with scathing reviews, I still found it to be enjoyable. Probably because the music was more catered to me than things such as Lips or SingStar.) That said, I wasn’t sure if I wanted a singing game. Would it work? In short, yes, it works.

Of course, I have the UK version of this game. One aspect I particularly liked was the fact that we got a load of English artists on the game, including, but not limited to: Bashy; Tinie Tempah; Tinchy; Roots Manuva and (to my delight) Devlin. As well as these, of course there was a whole host of American hip-hop and rap including older tracks such as Biz Markie’s “Just A Friend” and Salt-n-Pepa’s Push It up to modern-day music, such as Drake’s “Best I Ever Had”. But what good are all these (licensed I should point out) tracks if the game doesn’t function correctly.

Well I’m going to go out on a limb and say this works almost perfectly. How do I know this? Because after going back to it a while after first purchasing it, I managed to get fairly high up on some leaderboards…

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Yup. You should respect me and my incredible rapping skills. I did recently revisit the game to find I was no longer first here or anywhere else for that matter, which leads me to think the game has been hacked or something while I was gone…yeah, sure it has, that’s got to be it. Still, it was cool while it lasted.

If I remember correctly, the game ranks you on three different attributes which I will not be able to remember for the life of me without the manual. I have now found the manual and still do not know what they are. Purely out of memory, I think it is something along the lines of pitch, timing and lyrics. Don’t hold me to that, hopefully by the end of this I should be able to give you the right titles. You can play the game on easier modes which have the lyrics on-screen for you throughout and this is all well and good for most people, but I needed more of a challenge, you can also play songs on expert with no lyrics on-screen. This can be daunting at first but if you know the song well enough, you’ll be okay. I managed to notch up a fair few 5-Mic (possible reference to The Source?) “Off The Chain” ratings on Expert, so it’s not too bad at all.

The graphics aren’t really important in something like are they? That’s not a problem anyway, as all the tracks are fully licensed which means that while you rap along the music video is playing in the background. This can be detrimental however, as when you have to rap whilst watching something as classic as Roots Manuva’s “Witness (1 Hope)” video, it can be very distracting!

Still, I’m not going to complain, Konami have put together a great title here. I do have two small gripes with it though. One is the achievement list. It’s not just this game, it happens (a little too) often but ones that rely on the community to vote your videos up, unless you’re going to boost or do it yourself, (still boosting? I don’t know. I need to stop with these brackets) then they’re pretty much out of reach as this seems to be a pretty harsh community-due to this that elusive (Wiley reference for anyone who cares) 1000g is pretty much out of reach. However, there are a load of cool achievement names which most rap fans can appreciate (“It Takes Two”, “All Eyez On Me” and “Stuntin’ is a Habit” to name just a few.)

My final problem is the lack of replay value if you’re not playing this with friends. Sadly enough for me, I wasn’t. I only have one mic (Nas) and not a lot of friends who would even be interested in rapping, so it’s single player for me. Aside from trying to top the leaderboards, after you finish the main game, I didn’t feel there was much to do. I don’t want to battle people I don’t know (they would rage quit after my amazing abilities were shown haha) and sharing videos is even worse when you get little teenagers spouting all sorts of profanities because they don’t like anything which doesn’t come from Lil Wayne or someone (not a Lil Wayne diss at all, I don’t hate him like most people my age seem to these days).

Actually, one more problem-the aforementioned teens playing this game. In an effort to appeal to a broader demographic, the game is rated Teen or 12 here in the UK. Not too much of a problem for some, but when you know the explicit versions, having to go back to a clean radio edit can be quite a problem. It doesn’t penalise you for swearing, but as you may know, clean versions can change words other than the profanities.

Still, it doesn’t stop this being a top-notch game, if you are a fan of rap. I need to stress that. If not, you may want to stick to Lips or something as this is the more urban equivalent. Anyway, on with the final scores.

Audio: Well, let’s be honest. The game would fall flat on its face if this wasn’t on point. Thankfully it’s all good! Everything is CDQ as expected. One problem is the trade-off for the UK songs. I’m not happy I had to pay money for Chamillionaire’s “Ridin'” (for the record, probably my favourite rapper of all time.) 95/100

Visuals: Not bad, just what you need really. 80/100

Playability: Cannot complain. A great game. Very good. I mean, it’s rapping. I’m really trying to put something here, but this is as simple as it comes. It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty damn good. 80/100

Delivery: I’m going to take into account how long it held my interest here and truthfully it just wasn’t that long. A good game and I’m definitely looking forward to the sequel to see how it improves. 70/100

Achievements: This is the part which annoys me. For everything good about it, the achievement list lets it down. If it was based on skill, I’m sure I could have 1000g’d it, but the community achievements are just too much. It’s a shame though. 40/100

Overall: I really do like it. Me not selling it by now is testament to this. However, I also haven’t played it in a long time. Bottom line, if you like rap and have friends who would play it with you, get it, you will have a blast. At the least if you’re interested, you can give it a rent on LoveFilm first. You’re not going to regret a rent at all! But according to the previous scores, I would give this game 80/100!

Well, there you go. Originally I scored it 73/100, but now I’ve changed my reviewing system, I had to change a few scores. I’m not basing it on an average anymore, just giving it the score I feel it deserves. Prior to this edit, when it was at 73/100 I stated “that’s lower than I expected. I should be higher than that, if I wasn’t going by the above scores I would honestly have said about 80. But it’s still respectable, plus you shouldn’t let me make up your mind for you, it’s just an opinion. Now I’m probably going to have a go. Yeaaaaahhhhhhhhhh Boyyyyyyyyyyyy!” However, now, it’s at the right number, so there you go!

Edit I: For anyone who is interested, here’s a load of the higher scores I got in my prime on this game-

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I actually topped that score by a fair margin fairly soon after the first photo was taken and completely forgot about it.

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I also managed to get to second on Tinie Tempah’s Pass Out. My pitch was just too low to crack first place. Nightmare.

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This one probably shows most of my ability as it’s a worldwide one. Keep in mind I hadn’t heard the song in years, I’d say that was pretty good. No idea where I am on there now though.

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Similarly here, I got to 26th on Lil Wayne’s A Milli. Not sure why I’m sharing it, perhaps it was because I only had two goes on it. I might improve next time I’m on.

Also, with regards to what the three measurements of success are on the game…I still haven’t checked. I will get back with that!

Edit II: Alright, I finally found out what they were. It was timing, pitch and lyrics. Was I right before? I think so. I’m sure no-one cares anyway!