In a desperate attempt to broaden my audience…wait, let me start over. In order to gain any sort of audience, I’m getting as much content out as I can in these early days. So here’s another throwback review, this time of a WWE PPV. This is the only one I have done to date, and it’s not all that good. That said, it took me a little while, so here it is once again. As they are moved here, they are removed from my Blogger, so y’know, if you like it, please let people know I exist! I had 560 views on Blogger, which, to be honest, I was quite happy with as they had literally no promotion. I’ve got to top that over here though! Anyway, let me know what you think. If you enjoy it, I’ll do more in the future. If no-one responds, then I may well do another anyway. Have a nice day!
Alright, so I thought it was time to try something different. This will have a completely different rating system to everything else, I’ll be doing each of the matches with a five-star rating as well as a five-star rating for the pay per view overall. If this gets some views then I’ll probably do this more often and cover some old ones too.
[Note: This was originally an image of the promotion poster from the show. It featured the Big Show and Hornswoggle, in a kind of “bedtime story” scenario, with Show sat on Horny’s bed, reading him a book. Yeah, I have no explanation for that.]
Well there you go. Bed time stories with Big Show and Hornswoggle. Big Show is supposed to look like a dominant monster colliding with the World’s Strongest Man Mark Henry. Making him read a book to a “leprechaun” definitely builds this persona.
First of all I have to say I’m in the UK so I get six PPVs a year free, I am unbelievably happy that this is one of them! I’m mainly excited to see what happens with CM Punk (my current favourite wrestler) and John Cena (not far behind.) I am an Internet fan yes, but not a typical smark, I’m not one to bash the man; he can wrestle, he knows more than five moves and he’s honestly not that stale or boring. The other matches I’m not too worried about, I like the ladder matches usually so I’m expecting them to be as good as ever, as well as Christian vs Orton which should be as good as they’ve done the last few weeks. The matches are currently:
- Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Alex Riley vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger in Raw’s Money in the Bank ladder match.
- Kane vs. Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater vs. Sheamus in SmackDown’s Money in the Bank ladder match.
- Kelly Kelly (c) vs. Brie Bella in a singles match for the WWE Divas Championship.
- John Cena (c) vs. CM Punk in a singles match for the WWE Championship. If Punk “leaves Chicago with the title”, Cena will be fired.
- Big Show vs. Mark Henry in a singles match.
- Randy Orton (c) vs. Christian in a singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship. If Orton gets disqualified or the referee makes a “bad call”, Christian automatically wins the title.
Thank you very much Wikipedia for those! Before the show starts I’ll put my predictions. I’ve got the following:
Predictions! Del Rio for RAW, Barrett or Sheamus for SmackDown, Kelly Kelly, Mark Henry, Orton and Punk, then possible cash in from Del Rio.
— Thom Robinson (@thom___) July 17, 2011
That’s predictions and a slight introduction done. Umm, the tweet doesn’t seem to say the right time, but that was tweeted before the show, so I can’t go back on it now! So next, it’s the actual show. Cool!
RIGHT. The first match was the SmackDown Money In The Bank. In the match there was a super cool spot where Bryan did a suicide dive, Gabriel a somersault plancha, Slater a corkscrew plancha and Sin Cara hit the crossbody to the outside. One of the maddest things I have ever seen in wrestling. Sin Cara hit a nice C4, but his night was cut short when Sheamus blasted him through a ladder. As soon as I saw the Spanish announcers desk I assumed someone was going through. As soon as I saw it, Barrett went over and took it apart. However, nothing really came of that. The Corre sort of reformed mid match which was kind of cool, but when Barrett began to climb that ended abruptly. I like that Gabriel, Barrett and Slater all have their own themes now. Gabriel really impressed me in this match, he got a 450 Splash off a ladder between the ropes in the smallest of gaps. There were some more cool moments, Slater was at the top of a ladder which was lying against a turnbuckle which was pushed up and sort of fired him away. I can’t really describe it but it was cool. Kane got a cool chokeslam in and I love Rhodes’ Beautiful Disaster kick. This all pales in comparison to the winner though. Daniel Bryan was the winner. I was genuinely shocked. I’m going to have to rate it ****1/2. I loved it, there wasn’t really many huge spots that stuck out, but just a great all round match. Bryan Danielson, Daniel Bryan whatever, THE AMERICAN DRAGON IS MR. MONEY IN THE BANK!
Second match was Kelly Kelly vs Brie Bella. Not bad for a Divas match, that’s all I can really say. It had some okay spots actually, but not a Phoenix vs Melina or Trish vs Lita say. I’d give it **1/2. They didn’t really bring anything new to the table, but I wasn’t bored at all and it went really quickly. When I saw Eve come out with K2 I sort of expected her to turn on Kelly and start a new feud, but there aren’t really that many face divas at the moment on RAW as far as I remember, and God forbid she defends it on SmackDown. Not bad though, not bad. SHUCKY DUCKY as Booker T would say. For some reason I prefer that to letting the pigeons loose, Taz.
Cee-Lo Green’s ‘Bright Lights Bigger City’ is the SummerSlam theme. I’m a big fan of Cee-Lo so this is cool with me.
Third was Mark Henry vs Big Show. Cool. I was looking forward to seeing Mark win this. Even more important was his awesome blue attire. He dominated then broke Big Show’s ankle by the looks of things. Madness! Better than I expected though, a Mizzark Dropkick to the steps and Big Show from the top rope. Two World’s Strongest Slams and Mark Henry’s awesome Three 6 Mafia theme. What more could you ask for? ***
We go to seeing Vince McMahon backstage with Johnny Ace and someone else, I’m assuming a lawyer or something. They said earlier in the show but I can’t remember at all, most of this is done from Twitter notes (@thom___ for the shameless plug.) Josh Matthews wants to know if Punker has been signed. Vince tells him no. Not much else too it.
The RAW Money in the Bank followed that. Miz had his awesome jacket on. Not bad at all. Some very cool spots in there. However, it wasn’t as good as the SmackDown one. I really wanted a Bourne win, but I knew it would never happen. I secretly hoped for Swagger if not, but didn’t happen for a second time. Truth missed a spot where he was supposed to kick the ladder so it bounced into Swagger’s face, but they tried again, so never mind. Actually, I wanted Bourne to win, but knew he was an even longer shot than Swagger was. He got a beautiful Shooting Star Press (AirBourne if it is actually called that?) though. Rey got a 619 around a ladder which was cool. I knew Del Rio would win, it had to happen. That unmasking spot was cool, but pretty underwhelming. In my head I called The Miz coming back, then I heard a roar, there he was. I am sort of glad Miz didn’t win again; I dunno, I like Del Rio but he had the Rumble and now MITB, I feel he’s getting a lot very fast. Never mind, he’s cool, and had a beautiful Lambo tonight. I’ll give it ****
Del Rio gets an interview spot here. It’s still all about destiny I assume. Probably, I can’t remember.
Christian vs Randy Orton. Cool video package to begin. I just feel this is completely overshadowed by everything else, always a good match but with Cena vs Punk this is more of a cool down in between. Christian’s Hit The Switch tee is cool as Hell. I’m going to embed a couple of tweets here that I have to show you.
|_o_/ I loved that pose. Randy is awesome because of his finisher, that pose, the theme, the backbreaker and the beard. He’s just cool.
— Thom Robinson (@thom___) July 18, 2011
Orton doing a jackknife cover? It’s been a while. I also love his dropkick, 2nd rope DDT and did I mention the RKO? Of course.
— Thom Robinson (@thom___) July 18, 2011
Now that’s out the way, I’ll say that this was not a bad match at all. End comes when Christian spits in Ortons face causing him to beat him down and then kick him right in the testicles. Painful as anything, but it may have been worth it for Christian as he is the new World Heavyweight Champion! Not the best of matches these guys have put on, but still a solid ***1/2 or so. The post match beat down was awesome, culminating in an RKO on the Spanish announcers desk. Orton gets to the top of the ramp, but that isn’t enough, he comes back down and hits another RKO on to it. It still doesn’t break! I think Orton wanted it to, but never mind. Orton does a hilariously demented smile where he licks his lips, that was fantastic. I thought Daniel Bryan may have cashed in when Orton first went up the ramp, but then I thought one of two things would happen when Orton went back to Christian: 1) DBD wouldn’t do it or 2) Orton would destroy him too. Luckily it was number one.
The match we all watched this for. John Cena vs CM Punk. Punk has an awesome new t-shirt. The crowd goes mental for Punker. Cena gets booed. Sort of a One Night Stand 2006 vs RVD vibe here. It sounded more split earlier in the night when Cena was mentioned, but that was all change here. There were a few Cena fans later in the match which became more vocal, but Chicago was all about Punk. It was weird not seeing (I guess I couldn’t C him! U Can’t C Me?! I’m a genius) Cena’s usual salute, run, hat and shirt throw, he just walked and threw his shirt to a fan with a Cena shirt on (bit unfair, he already had one!) I guess he didn’t want it to get thrown back like the aforementioned ONS06. Absolutely incredible match here. Anyone who says Cena has 5 moves, please watch this. This is all from memory but there was a huge suplex, a gut wrench powerbomb variation (I can’t remember what it was completely, but this bit was written at 04:14, let me off here), super stiff knees from Punk, loads of submissions from both men, it was great. Could have ended at any minute, but we knew something would have to happen. Out comes Mr. McMahon with Mr. Laurinaitis. Cena locks in the STF. Vince calls for the bell in a Montreal Screwjob fashion, but no one does anything so he sends Johnny Ace to do it for him. Cena relinquishes the hold and smacks Ace in the face (nice rhyme.) He tells Vince he’s winning it his way, gets in the ring, gets put to sleep by Punker and we have a new WWE Champion. Crowd goes absolutely bananas, bonkers, mad crazy! Vince isn’t happy. He takes King’s headset. Get some of that infamous barking of orders here! “CUT THE MUSIC, GET DEL RIO DOWN HERE TO CASH IN NOW!” Del Rio obliges, runs down and eats a swift Punk kick before he can cash in. Punk smirks at McMahon and runs through the crowd and poses with the belt before leaving. Couldn’t have been better. This is what wrestling was about. Everyone played their role top perfection and my man, CM Punk is the champion. I just need one of those shirts now. *****
Overall the PPV was fantastic. It could have been awful up until the main event but it wasn’t, every match was good. I’m so glad I stayed up to watch it. Absolutely fantastic. Five stars. It has to be. *****